Lost and Found in Las Vegas Anthology

More publication news!

My short story Strip Away recently came out in the anthology "Lost and Found in Las Vegas: What the City Hides and What It Reveals" Edited by Scott Dickensheets, Huntington Press (August 28, 2014)

It's a Twilight Zoney twisty tale of creepiness.

Jacob has a problem. He's late for work slinging cards at one of the ritzy casinos on Las Vegas Strip. But that's not really his problem. Instead it's that no matter where he turns and no matter which exit he takes he can't seem to find Las Vegas. It's as if the whole city no longer exists on this plane.
Strip Away.

All the authors in this anthology will be having some panelist fun this year at the Vegas Valley Book Festival (more on that later) so make sure you're planning on attending.

The super fun thing about this anthology is that I share the table of contents with my Illiterati pal Mercedes M. Yardley! Fun times. The writing group that stays together gets published together.

We are very serious writers (photo credit Brent Holmes)

Qualia Nous Released Into the Wild

Ladies and gentlefrogs, my short story “Breathe You in Me” is contained within the pages of QUALIA NOUS.

Go buy it. http://www.amazon.com/Qualia-Nous-Michael-Bailey/dp/0578146460

QUALIA NOUS is a collection of short stories billed as “a literary blend of science fiction and horror.”

I can dig it.

“Breathe You in Me”, was one of those sit-down-with-nothing-in-mind-then-all-of-a-sudden-write-in-a-fury-to-finish-it-in-one-sitting things. Those of you who are writers will have had that elusive experience. It’s a weird form of possession, or so it feels. You’re merely the channel for an idea that must strike the earth like verbose lightning.

It’s the only thing I ever wrote in 2^nd person—and only because the narrative demanded it. I managed to combine the sewer city under Las Vegas and the flesh-eating drug Krokodil and fungi.

Yes, there is a sewer city underneath Las Vegas.

As a Las Vegas writer I find that there is no end to potential material here. This place is full of some crazy stories. You just have to listen.

Anyhow, I’m honored to share the QUALIA NOUS table of contents (TOC for us fancypants types) with some amazing writers. Editor Michael Bailey has a real knack for putting together dynamic and potent anthologies—featuring seasoned veterans and up-and-coming authors you need to know about NOW.

And Stephen King’s in it. Even my mom knows who Stephen King is.

So that’s pretty cool.

I’m trying to start the rumor that ole Stevey and I have been having BBQ’s at one another’s summer homes, clinking glasses and toasting to obscure rock’n’roll bands.

My wife suggests that I’m taking the fanboy thing a little too far. The restraining order from Mr. King would tend to support this observation, except I know that only means he wants me to pursue our friendship even more ardently…

;)

 Here's the table of contents. Mucho kudos goes to those who typed and linked all this out. (if it was you, take credit!)

·                                 “The Jaunt” by Stephen King

·                                 “The Vaporization Enthalpy of a Peculiar Pakistani Family” by Usman Tanveer Malik

·                                 “The Shaking Man” by Gene O’Neill

·                                 “Dyscrasia” by Ashlee Scheuerman

·                                 “The Rondelium Girl of Rue Marseille” by Emily B. Cataneo

·                                 “The Angel Chaser” by Erik T. Johnson

·                                 “Psychic Shock” by Ian Shoebridge

·                                 “Peppermint Tea in Electronic Limbo” by D.J. Cockburn

·                                 “Second Chance” by John R. Little

·                                 “The Effigies of Tamber Square” by Jon Michael Kelley

·                                 “Shades of Naught” by Lori Michelle

·                                 “The Price of Faces” by James Chambers

·                                 “Simulacrum” by Jason V Brock

·                                 “Shutdown” & “Tomorrow’s Femme” (poetry) by Marge Simon

·                                 “Lead Me to Multiplicity” by Peter Hagelslag

·                                 “Cataldo’s Copy” by Christian A. Larsen

·                                 “The Neighborhood Has a Barbecue” by Max Booth III

·                                 “The Jenny Store” by Richard Thomas

·                                 “Night Guard” by Erinn L. Kemper

·                                 “A New Man” by William F. Nolan

·                                 “Voyeur” by John Everson

·                                 “Kilroy Wasn’t There” by Pat R. Steiner

·                                 “In the Nothing-Space, I Am What You Made Me” by Paul Anderson

·                                 “Dura Matter” by Lucy A. Snyder

·                                 “Ruminations” by Rena Mason

·                                 “Good and Faithful Servant” by Thomas F. Monteleone

·                                 “Twelve Kilos” by Patrick Freivald

·                                 “Breathe You In Me” by Mason Ian Bundschuh

·                                 “18P37-C, After Andrea Was Arrested” by Elizabeth Massie

·                                 “No Fixed Address” by Gary A. Braunbeck

Shock Totem Issue 8.5

Hey all you people that live on the internet:

My short non-fiction piece "Unlearning to Lie" is in Shock Totem Magazine Issue 8.5 (Amazon link)

This makes me all giddy and stuff like that. Support this amazing magazine while getting a glimpse into the dark corners of my mind.

Piercing the Veil

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I give you my brand new short novella/long long story: Piercing the Veil

"She's electric, boogie woogie, oogie..."

Get yerself over to my publisher's website to grab a copy Samhain Horror
Or if you're more traditional and like the Amazon thing, go here

What's it about?

Simon, a brilliant but narcissistic grad student, will do anything to get a position at a nearby cutting-edge particle collider. So when a bitter and discredited professor offers him the chance at a secret research position on the cusp of proving an impossible theory, Simon thinks it’s a dream come true. But the math doesn’t quite add up and the other technicians working graveyard at the collider give him the creeps.
Meanwhile, students are disappearing from his university at an alarming rate. When Simon becomes the prime suspect he realizes there may be a horrible link to the erratic and impossible research at the collider. Simon is learning that his coworkers may not entirely be human after all. And the disappearances are getting closer to home.

Throw in the sci-fi paranoia of Philip K. Dick and a healthy dose of Lovecraftian cosmic horror and you're getting close.

And check out this "first-peek" review by the people over at Horror Novel Reviews:

http://horrornovelreviews.com/2014/03/01/mason-ian-bundschuh-piercing-the-veil-review/

Rainmaker - Story up at Horror d'Oeuvres

I'm such a slacker.

My short story "Rainmaker" went up a monthish-or-so ago on Horror d'Oeuvres (a DarkFuse flash fiction site) and I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MENTION IT.

Face. Palm.

Anyhow, you needz to go to http://www.horrordoeuvres.com/rainmaker/ and get your read on.
Ok, it's a subscription-based site, but dude, it's worth it for a bi-monthly flash fiction story from some amazing authors (and me too).

Get over there and pony up.

And while you're reading that, I'll be driving off to a secret writing shindig with my writer's group, The Illiterati.

Chiral Mad 2 Released

Ladies and Gentlefrogs, Chiral Mad 2 is out so get thee to Amazon and order yourself a copy.

Chiral Mad 2 on Amazon

My short story "Another Man's Bones" opens up the collection (a big honor for me)

I know I've mentioned it before, but the people I share the table of contents (TOC) with are AWESOME.
Some serious luminaries and all-around great people.

One aspect of this publication which may be of interest to other hungry writers out there: my story had been rejected by dozens of other markets before being accepted. I had several really positive personal rejections, but all rejections nonetheless.
I knew the story was solid. This isn't just vanity, I can tell when I write a stinker (usually after a few days of perspective). This story I knew was good. And I'd also put it through the wringer of my writer's group (The Illiterati) and it got their stamp of approval.
Point being, if you've got a story you believe in, keep submitting it! Every editor is looking for something different. Eventually you'll find a home for it.

The key word of the day is PERSISTENCE.

For us writers, with our perennial vacillation between soaring ego and crushing self-doubt, it is persistence and plain-old dogged cussedness that drags us through.

Acceptance and Contest Win: Dark Fuse & Vegas Valley Book Fest 2013

Well, it's been a productive past few months.

While I've been neck deep in the heavy rewrites and revisions of my current WIP (work in progress for all you not yet in the know), I've also been throwing my proverbial hat into the ring by submitting short stories all over the place.

1) My short story "The Resurrectionist" won 2nd place in the 2013 Vegas Valley Book Festival Flash Fiction contest. (I'll be reading my winning entry at the VVBF on Saturday Nov 2nd at noon in the small courtyard of the old 5th street schoolhouse in downtown Las Vegas)

2) My short story "Rainmaker" was just picked up by Dark Fuse for their Horror d'oeuvres flash fiction outlet. Fun stuff. Rainmaker was my entry in the Killercon 2013 Creative Fiction contest, judged by the peerless Ellen Datlow and Christopher Rice (a rising star to watch).

Both stories were written on the same day (within a few hours of one another) in two timed contests. The first contest allowed 90 minutes to write, edit and submit, the second only 20 minutes.

Most of you know that I have a super-duper writers group. The Illiterati.

Watch out, better hide your kids, hide your wife.

One of the best things about having a group in this solitary life of a writer is that you roll together. Any triumph for one is a triumph for all. Life is better when you travel as a pack.

In September the Illiterati as a group entered two short story contests in a row: The Killercon 2013 Creative Fiction contest and the 2013 Vegas Valley Book Festival Flash Fiction contest.

We won both.
(Congrats to Matt Czarnowski for his Illiterati-representing Killercon win!)

I credit as much to our own (growing) writing ability as I do to the sense of friendly competition of "outwriting" one another. I admire and enjoy the unique writing voice and style of each member of my group, and to go head-to-head with them is both an honor and a real challenge.

What are you waiting for? Find some like-minded writers and start yourself a writers group. You won't know what you're doing at first, but you'll learn.

Whispers From the Abyss Anthology

Hey dude, you've got something on your face...

Hey there kiddos, you can read my latest short story "When We Change" in the WHISPERS FROM THE ABYSS anthology.

This is the story that Jack Ketchum deemed awesome enough to be declared winner of the 2012 Killercon flash fiction contest.

Snatch it up on Amazon!

Check out the table of contents here.

Chiral Mad 2 and Heading to Killercon

Hello boys and girls.

Got some good news, my short story "Another Man's Bones" has been accepted in the awesome anthology CHIRAL MAD 2, the follow-up to the award winning CHIRAL MAD.

Check out some of the great names I'm sharing a ToC with!

Jack Ketchum, David Morrell, Mort Castle (MORT!), Ramsey Campbell, Gene O'Neill... that's just the first reveal. (also P. Gardner Goldsmith and John Skipp via Written Backward's FB page)

There are also some awesome rumors floating about, but we'll go there if they happen. M'kay?

So with this great news, I'm off to Killercon 2013 held right here in Las Vegas NV.
I love writer conventions. And I love the people who put on and attend Killercon.

It will be a fun fun fun weekend. I'll fill you in on the deets later.

Short Story Up: The Flesh Trader

Hey peoples of the interwebz.

My award winning short story "The Flesh Trader" is in this week's Las Vegas Citylife Magazine.

(Page 13, wonderfully)

You can read the e-version here: http://lasvegascitylife.com/e-edition.php?i=2012/11/01#?page=13

Booya!

Mercedes Yardley BEAUTIFUL SORROWS Blog Tour

Today I have the pleasure of interviewing (once again) my dear friend and member of my crazy writer's group: Mercedes M. Yardley.

Knives and other weapons not shown

First of all, let me say a hearty congratulations to you! Your first collection, Beautiful Sorrows, just came out from Shock Totem Publications and I have to say that the title describes the contents perfectly.

Which leads me to my first question...


Mercedes, you’ve really perfected the art of beautiful sorrow, or as you once put it to me “whimsical horror”. How did you develop your unique “ethereal, yet horrific” voice?

It was a lot of trial and error. You’ve read some of my old pieces, and you can see tiny slivers of this voice emerging, but it really wasn’t until I wrote the novel my agent is currently shopping that I felt it come out in full force.  My writing was always a touch dark, but also fairly pretty.  That’s how I’d explain it.  Prettily horrific.

And you’ve always written?
Always.

When did you first have the inkling that other people might want to read your work?
I wrote a lot as a kid, and my third grade teacher asked me to read some of my stories aloud to the class.  It was scary, but cool, and it just seemed like the thing to do, you know?  Write something and share it. Then I was in a couple of great magazines and anthologies, and I figured that people were buying them because of the other authors in there. I was just along for the ride, and loving every minute of it.  But now that Beautiful Sorrows has come out, I’m just floored that people are buying it. I mean, it’s my book, a book of just me, and people are still choosing to spend their money on it.  It’s extremely humbling, but so delightful! I’m so excited.

What was the tipping point for you to stop just “dabbling” as a writer and start submitting things for publication?

I was quite literally going mad. We had just moved to Las Vegas, my husband was gone all of the time with a new job, and I had a baby boy at home.  It was too hot to go outside and we were trapped inside of the apartment. I thought, “This isn’t the life that I want for myself!”  I was so lonely and so desperate for a creative outlet.  I joined up with the local NaNoWriMo group, wrote my first novel, and loved it. It was daunting to start submitting short stories and poems to magazines, but that was my next step.  I always wanted to be a writer, but I lacked the motivation and confidence.  I was intimidated.  But I grit my teeth and started forward.

You’re in a writers’ group with me. Admit it.

The Illiterati. We are a very serious writers group.

No comment, lest I incriminate myself.

Our writer’s group is pretty hardcore, but I can’t tell you how much I’ve grown as a writer because of being in a group with you, Mercedes. I think we’re awesome! Have all of your writers’ group experiences been as awesome?

The Illiterati is unique because we like each other, in and outside of the group as well.  We’re all creative, we have a great work ethic, and especially in the case of you and I, we spur each other on with friendly but gritty competition.

That reminds me. Congratulations on beating my measly 4th place in the Las Vegas Valley Flash Fiction contest! I owe you a video extolling your virtues.

That’s right, I won 1st place! I’m looking forward to that video. Bwahaha! And thank you for spurring me to write with excellence. I ascribe my win to our Illiterati power. But what works for us might not work for everyone. Would you recommend finding a writers’ group to others, and do you have any tips for finding the right one?

I think everybody needs some type of group. Even if it’s a loose collection of betas who only read your stuff once.  In our case, we’re an uber-intensive, three hours a week writer’s group where we tear each other’s work to shreds. But that’s because we respect each other and we’ve earned that respect.

I’d say that if you don’t jive with a person, you’re not going to respect what they have to say about your work. And if you don’t value their opinion, they shouldn’t be looking at your work anyway.  It’s just a waste of everybody’s time.  And time is such a precious commodity.

Ok, random question: I hear you had something to do with the sinking of the Titanic.

Let’s just say that [James Cameron’s TITANIC] movie portrayal of [First Officer] William McMaster Murdoch as a money-grubbing murderer has been contested by friends and family.  Apparently somebody involved with the movie ending up paying the family for defamation of character, or whatnot.

Let me also add that Murdock Luck is a real thing.  You definitely don’t want to stand next to me in a lightning storm.

What energizes you as a writer?

Goals.  Making strides. The success of another writer that I enjoy. Illiterati meetings.  I love the rush of moving forward, even when it’s difficult. But then, it seems that it’s always difficult.  One or another of us is always slogging through the literary mud.  It helps to hold hands and run together.

What would you like to see more or less of in fiction?

I’m done with zombies. Totally done. I’d like to see more ghost stories, but that’s because I love them so much.  Ooh, and more voodoo stories!  You can’t have enough ghost and voodoo stories.

Thank you Mercedes for stopping by my little corner of the universe. Any parting shots?

You may have won this contest round, but I’ll get you next time, Gadget! Can’t wait to see you on Tuesday to shoot the literary breeze.  I’m sure we’ll go head to head on something, as usual.

Sounds like a challenge! Accepted. :)

Make sure you pick up a copy of BEAUTIFUL SORROWS from Shock Totem or Amazon.com

Review of THE WEIRD

Hey kids, you want the inside scoop? Head on over to Innsmouth Free Press to read my review of THE WEIRD, an awesome anthology edited by Ann and Jeff VanderMeer:

( http://www.innsmouthfreepress.com/blog/?p=18465 )













I'll be back when I'm less busy changing diapers and leveling up my Demon Hunter on Diablo III.

New Story: None of Which Was In the Report

I want you to read something. No, not this blog. Well, actually yes this blog. But after you read this blog I have something for you to read.

Allow me to inform you, my intrepid reader(s) that you can read my brand new story "None of Which Was In the Report" online, right now, with your eyes, on the digital device you are staring at this minute.

You might think that amazing technology allows me to share this story with you. But you'd be wrong. The majesty of my beard (see below) grants me this power, in league with the machinations of the ever wily Misty Dahl. (Fraternity of Flash)

See, majestic ain't it?

So what are you waiting for, go read "None of Which Was In the Report" ya lazy bum.

For my Academy speech I intend to thank Sam Raimi and Terry Pratchett, which I think you will find apropos upon reading my quirky little story.

New Short Story Up: "The Collector (or, Google It)"

Hello all you interwebz peoples.  I'm pleased to announce that my most recent story "The Collector (or, Google It)" is now up on Wily Writers. (hooray)

They’re mentioning my name in the same breath as H.P. Lovecraft again... :)

I had a lot of fun writing this story, so I'm happy that it's been published for you kids to enjoy.

Let this encourage all of you who are slogging it out on the submission marathon: just keep submitting and keep writing!

Wily Writers is a doubly cool site because you can not only read the story online, you can listen to the audiobook version read by the delightfully expressive Nathan Crowder. (Download the .mp3 and slap that file on your iPod to show everyone how cool you are...)

This story also features a few inside Illiterati jokes, such as Ryan Bridger's "Psycho-to-Hot Ratio" and a few others.

After you read it, please leave a shoutout on the Wily Writers website (or here, or both).

Read it here: http://www.wilywriters.com/blog/?p=2792

Crossed Genres Issue #36

Guess what?

My short story “The Last Recall” is being published in the final issue of Crossed Genres Magazine. (Issue #36)

This is a huge honor and I share the issue with such talented authors as:

     Megan Arkenberg

     Sarah A. Drew

     Lara Ek

     Helen Estrada

     Zachary Jernigan

     Cat Rambo

     Nisi Shawl

     Jo Thomas

     Maria Stanislav

Crossed Genres Magazine is a small publisher of speculative fiction and every issue has a new genre/theme. Not only that, but their cover art ALWAYS rocks. (see?)

art by Brittany Jackson

And did I mention that you don’t have to wait for the Kindle edition, you can go and read it online right now for free!

So what are you waiting for? Go read it already!

http://crossedgenres.com/archives/036-different/the-last-recall-by-mason-ian-bundschuh/

When It Rains It Gets Wet

So, my posts have been sparse lately, forgive me. I've been crazy busy.

I know I meant to share more info on my adventures as a ghostwriter, but MORE has happened!

A few of you might have heard of the SOUL SURFER movie coming out about Bethany Hamilton, a young surfer girl who was mauled by a shark, lost her arm, and not only returned to surfing, but became a champion surfer.
Well,

See, my dad's name right there in small letters!

I got a chance to work with my dad on the book "Raising a Soul Surfer" which he wrote with Bethany's mother, Cheri Hamilton. (Actually, my dad is the "with", it's Cheri's book)

It's a movie tie-in book. An "Inspirational Autobiography."

And I got to earn some industry cred... or maybe crud... by helping my dad to crank out the manuscript in record time. I edited, fact-checked, and occasionally rewrote chapters at Cheri's and my dad's direction.

It wasn't quite as legendary of ghostwriting 50k words in 50 hours, but it was close! haha.

Also it was an interesting glimpse into the professional world of writing.

Those of us who write take for granted that the written word is our milieu. Words are our spirit's limbs, moving them, arranging them, crafting them to convey and emote.

We forget that many many people who can communicate in person, on screen, etc, etc, etc, aren't as comfortable with words. They can say it, speak it to huge crowds with passion and clarity, but when they sit down to write a book it just doesn't come across like they want.

I suppose it's like people who are photogenic, and those who look normal until you take a picture of them and they seem to look goofy no matter what.

Or like otherwise accomplished people who can't sing in tune even with training. (I've met these people, they baffle me!)

It has been exciting to help a woman who has a pretty amazing story share it with the world...

But MAN it was a lot of work. I had to sort through a half dozen insertions and notes and possible scenes--and the deadline was like a bear gnawing on my shoulder.

It was new realms of intensity, frustration, and validation.
Sending it off to the editor on the last day before DEADline felt sooooo good.

Now I can actually spend time wroking on my book! sheesh. :)

I'm Officially a Published Author!

Hooray for me!

Strange Tales of Horror (NorGus Press), an anthology featuring my short story "A Secret Amongst Boys" is now available for purchase through the wonderful world of amazon.com or on the publisher's website.

Look at that gruesome cover art! Awesome!

Super kudos to Matt Nord and the NorGus press people for an incredible job on their first big anthology. And a double thank you goes to them for liking my story enough to publish it!

Yes I've been published before, but it's been so long that I'm pretty much starting over and calling this my official first sale.

(I also had one or two nibbles which fell through for contractual reasons--see my post about contracts)

So to celebrate my big publishing milestone I'm going to go home and play with my two daughters.

Now that's a great way to celebrate!

What about you? Have any publishing news? When was your first sale? Got a link where we can find your stuff?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Delusions vs. Dreams

Some people who think they are writers are delusional.

Sure those of us who write with the goal of being published (and maybe even earning a living at it) are all delusional in a way, but it's not a bad sort of delusional. It's more of a dreaming (with lots of hard work thrown in.) Writers are delusional in a similar way to those who want to be professional musicians or actors. It's a long-shot, but you can actually work hard and hone your craft until you get some breaks.

The short and skinny is that a person who writes, does so because they must. Nothing anyone else can say could persuade a writer not to write. The desire to create with words is a compelling force that they can't deny. It is part of their dreaming self, this need to write which makes them a writer. Getting published is a whole other ball'o'wax.



But there are also those wanna-be writers who are BAD DELUSIONAL. Run from them.

Bad delusional is the guy at the back of the bus who smells like incontinent cats and mutters about being an archangel. Bad delusional is playing slot machines as part of your investment portfolio. Bad delusional is quitting your day job before you even start your first novel because "Hey, I'll get a Stephanie Meyer deal right out the gate."

I once met a guy who claimed to be a writer. I asked him what he wrote.

"Oh, I haven't written anything yet."

Really? Well, if you were to write something, what genre or style would it be?

"Oh, I'm only going to write best-sellers. Or soemthing that would ensure my literary fame. I won't waste my time writing anything else."

And during twenty hubris-laden minutes he proceeded to tell me how terrible every best-seller was, how his would be superior and that he was studying what was hot right now and would just follow the formula of best-sellers to write his guaranteed hit novel. And yes, he told me how publishers would be throwing money at his feet when he told them he was about to write their next block buster.

I never knew people like this existed.

And if you haven't yet seen this video, stop, turn off the music, shut the door, press play and put down the beverage to avoid soaking something.

The Immortal Art of the Deal - the short story!

It's up.

My award winning short story (I can say that, ha!) "The Immortal Art of the Deal" has been published in Las Vegas Citylife.

In case you forgot, Mercedes M. Yardley also won (read more about that here)
We will both be doing a public reading on November 6th. I plan on bringing some backup dancers and pyrotechnics. (Let's see you follow that, Mercedes!)

Read it here:

http://www.lasvegascitylife.com/articles/2010/10/28/news/local_news/iq_39226630.txt

I Won! Mercedes Won! We Won!

As some of you know I entered a writing contest put on by the City of Las Vegas for the 2010 Vegas Valley Book Festival being held downtown on Nov 3-7.

In fact, almost our whole writers group, The Illiterati, signed up to dominate the competition. And dominate we did.

The indomitable Mercedes M. Yardley and I tied for the $250 2nd place prize. (1st place winner was a guy we had all hit it off with before the contest, Kurt Rice so it feels like we kept the winneryness in the family.)

The judges were Andrew Kiraly of KNPR’s Desert Companion, Scott Dickensheets of the Las Vegas Sun, UNLV writing instructor and Schaeffer Fellow Alissa Nutting, and CityLife’s Mike Prevatt. Prizes were provided by the Vegas Valley Book Festival (thank you!) and my story “The Immortal Art of the Deal” will be published in Las Vegas CityLife magazine. (W00t!)

In addition I’ll be doing a reading of my story at the Vegas Valley Book Festival on Nov 6th at around 10:30am in the courtyard. I know you want to be there. I’m going to wear a cape. And add a few Bollywood dance scenes. It’ll be awesome.

But don’t forget, my fellow Illiterati critique partner, Mercedes M. Yardley also won. I decided to interview her, because every time I tried to interview myself I kept getting into fistfights and suing myself.

In order to get an interview with Mercedes I disguised myself as an intrepid journalist and caught her as she was walking into the Las Vegas Machine Gun store.

##

Intrepid Journalist: “Excuse me, Mercedes M. Yardley?”

Mercedes: “How did you find me? Where's my Mace? Security!”

*After the Mace has run its course and the interviewer’s eyes have stopped burning.*

Intrepid Journalist: “Ok, so Mercedes, I wanted to ask you a few questions about your surprise win at the Flash Fiction contest—and your surprise near defeat at the hands of Mason.”

Mercedes: “Well, it wasn’t near defeat. We tied. Which is awesome.”

Intrepid Mason: “Well, right. Ok. Let’s talk about you. This was a FLASH FICTION contest, limited to 500 words. I understand you have loads of experience with writing flash fiction. About how many pieces have you published?

Mercedes: “About 50 pieces. Fiction. Poetry. Nonfiction.”

Insipid Journalist: “Poetry. Like haikus?”

Mercedes *with a sharp look that threatens more Mace*: “No.” *A brief uncomfortable pause. Somewhere a dog barks, or something.* “Mason, seriously, what are you doing in that ridiculous outfit—?”

Incisor Jumblist: “Never mind that. What did you feel when we walked into the 5th street school auditorium where they were holding the contest? I felt, I mean… Mason reported that he felt like he was there to take the SAT’s all over again. Were you scared that Mason would lay the smackdown?”

Mercedes: “I was excited. Nothing gets my blood pumping like a challenge, and I was totally digging on the competitive vibe. And as for Mason? Have you seen his spindly arms? Sure, that guy can shred the guitar better than anybody I've seen, but you don't want that pantywaist to move your furniture. I wasn't afraid.”

Invader Jugglist, *looking down at his pants.* “So that’s why these underwear are so uncomfortable.”

Mercedes: “Oh, but you mean writing-wise? Maybe a little.”

*A brief interlude as Mason, I mean, interviewer does a little victory dance that involves the Pee-Wee Herman move repeated far too many times.*

Investigative Jabba-the-Huttist: “So, how much preparation did you undergo for the tie-breaker dance battle in the parkinglot?

Mercedes: “Well, I was pretty warmed up from jumping around the room and screaming, "Yeah! Finished! Booya!" after the writing contest was done. Besides that, I'd been singing "Eye of the Tiger" in my head during the entire competition, so I was pretty stoked. And who can beat this?”

*awesome dance move*

*Mason, I mean, journalist stares with wonder at the power and fractal nature of Mercedes’ dance moves.*

Implacable Burbleist: “It’s a wonder we didn’t open a time-warp nexus with our awesome dance skills. Well, back to the interview: What are some of the challenges and advantages of writing flash fic?”

Mercedes: “The challenges are that it's difficult to condense your story down to its very essence. It takes discipline to make every word count. Also, a lot of people don't take it seriously as an art form.

“But the advantages rock. Flash is great because you get to explore an idea quickly. It's satisfying to write something start-to-finish without it taking months or even years, like a novel. And it's great from a magazine's perspective because sometimes we need something short and sweet to take up a little space in the mag, and flash fits the bill. It's very versatile."

Insensitive Chupacabralist: “Wow, well there you have it. I want to thank you for taking the time to—“

Mercedes: “Hey, is that a giant wombat behind you?”

*Mason turns to look. Mercedes runs away*

[[end transmission]]


A HUGE thank you to Brian Rouff at Imagine Marketing for hosting the contest and providing a wealth of information for this blog post.

The Vegas Valley Book Festival - the largest literary event in Las Vegas - will take place Nov. 3-7. More than 100 authors participate in festival events, which include literary and art panel discussions, readings, book signings, workshops, poetry readings, spoken word performances, exhibitions and other special programs. Most events are free and open to the public.

The Vegas Valley Book Festival is produced by the City of Las Vegas Office of Cultural Affairs, Las Vegas-Clark County Library District, UNLV’s Black Mountain Institute, Las Vegas Review-Journal, the local chapter of AIGA, the professional association for design; and Nevada Humanities, a festival founder.

For more information about the Vegas Valley Book Festival, call 702-229-5431 or visit www.vegasvalleybookfestival.org.