Contest: Win a Flippin' Kindle, Dude

No it's not my contest. I don't have the money to buy you a Kindle. But if you are a writer of sci-fi/fantasy/horror/awesome, Ken Kiser over at theKreggorian.com is giving away a Kindle 'cause he's crazy like that.

It's first-come-first-serve and caps out at 100 entries, so get off your duff and sign up!

7 Easy Steps to a Fulfilled Life:

This is probably what you'd get
if I were running the contest

1)    go here: http://thekreggorian.com/writer-workshop

2)    Read rules (they are short but manage to be slightly confusing anyways, whee!)
3)    Go to http://thekreggorian.com/fwforum/ and create a login for the forum.
4)    Post a “hi my name is _____” in the WELCOME forum section. Say hi to a few people, make friends.
5)    Post the first 300 words of one of your novels/novellas/written voodoo spells in CONTESTS! > The Great Openings Contest
6)    Tell other writers!
7)    Wait to see if you win the Kindle.

Fraternity of Flash

Fellow human beings and other life-forms (or undead forms) who read this blog: allow me to direct you to the grand opening of the Fraternity of Flash hosted by the irrepressible Misty Dahl.

As I mentioned before, the Fraternity of Flash is Misty's crazy idea to throw a bunch of writers together (award-winning, published pros and up-and-comers and fresh-from-the-bakery writers) with a little writer's challenge: Write a flash fiction story that has to include certain key phrases and/or words.

Sound fun? Sound interesting? Sound wild? Yes. Yes, to all.

I'm lucky enough to not only be a contributor, but am the official Editator... not that these stories need much editing, still us writers let slip a typo now and then no matter how careful. Each of the writers have come up with wildly divergent stories which will be featured over on Misty's blog (which you should follow) in the coming weeks.

I'll be attempting to give some brief reviews as they go up on her blog, so stay tuned.

I encourage you to leave comments on any story you read, as all us writers secretly fear that "no one cares" about the words we pull kicking and screaming from within the well of our hearts and souls.

And through all the noise and chaos of the electric world around us, maybe in the static words we write there will be found something that matters, something that is true. How many of us can remember a time when we were CHANGED by something we read?

Music for the Zombie Apocalypse

You know when the zombie apocalypse happens and you’re forced to transition from a slacker (whose main stress in life is a login error on facebook) to a lean-mean-zombie-fighting machine living off berries and shoe leather in the shattered husk of a skyscraper?

Well you need a soundtrack, and you’d better start thinking about it now because the power grid will eventually go dark. Best to plan ahead and play along.

Ok, so here’s the meme.

Put your music on Shuffle.

The first song is the theme for the Apocalypse.

The second song plays during your first zombie kill.

The third song plays while you’re chased by a Horde.

The fourth song plays while you’re forced to kill your loved one.

The fifth song plays when you find your new love interest.

The sixth song plays when you make your final stand.

The seventh song plays when you (think you) survive.

The eighth song plays when you discove a bite mark on you.


Got it? Have you started yet?

Well, here’s what my soundtrack looks like

     1. (apocalypse theme) Cat Power - The Greatest (this slow and sultry indicates to me that the invasion happens when no one is looking and takes us all by surprise.)

     2. (first kill) Jimmy Eat World - Just Tonight (Oh we just kicked it into high gear! Fight!)

     3. (chased by a horde) James Brown - Super Bad (the juxtaposition of being chased by zombies to a James Brown song needs to be in a movie… NOW)

     4. (kill loved one) Deerhoof – TheGreatCarTomb (if the music is any indication, this will be one surreal scene)

     5. (new love interest) South - Straight Lines to Bad Lands (as if to warn us this isn't going to be a happy ending folks... it's called foreshadowing and it’s not exactly a cutemeet.)

     6. (final stand) Arcade Fire - Black Wave / Bad Vibrations (first lines: “If we can reach the sea, they won’t follow me… we’ll make it if we run.” A natural pick if you ask me.)

     7. (victory!) Postal Service - Be Still My Heart (I imagine standing on the pile of zombie bodies while this triumphant little song of bleeps and computer glitches plays. Plus there’s some foreshadowing if you look for it. FTW!)

     8. (discover bite mark) Voodoo Child - Jimmy Hendrix (PERFECT! brrraaaaiiiiinnnnssssss)

Thanks to Mercedes M. Yardley for passing on this fun meme, go see what plays during her apocalypse.

But first, tell me what yours were!!!!

March Madness (in a non-sports way)

It’s almost April and the last time I posted was a month ago when my story “The Collector, or, Google It” went up at Wily Writers.

This is due to March Madness.

This is not a sports reference. In no way do I follow sports, nor do I endorse the following of sports. In fact, it was only after I typed March Madness that I recalled its use in the world of sports. I’m not sure which sport, or sports… but those sport people use the term for something. (Did I mention I don’t follow sports… at all?)

It was just the month of March. It was certifiably insane.

But lots of good stuff was crammed into that insanity. I hope I’ll get to share soon.

One thing I can and will talk about is the Fraternity ofFlash being put on by Grand Poobah Misty Dahl. In a nutshell, she’s crazy like a fox and decided to host her own, invite-only, flash fiction fest.

And that makes me happy. Not just because I’ll be rubbing digital elbows with some really fine writers (such as Mercedes M. Yardley, BradC. Hodson, Lisa Morton, John Palisano, Robert Devereaux, Jeff Mariotte, Jason Reinhardt, and many more) but because I love when people just take the bull by the horns and instigate something wild like this.

Why is she doing it? She had an idea and didn’t sit around wondering whether it would garner some huge pay-off or whether it was super-strategic-according-to-the-latest-marketing-strategy.

She loves writing and she loves writers. And she acted.

Inspired! Hence actually posting something on my jilted blog.

New Short Story Up: "The Collector (or, Google It)"

Hello all you interwebz peoples.  I'm pleased to announce that my most recent story "The Collector (or, Google It)" is now up on Wily Writers. (hooray)

They’re mentioning my name in the same breath as H.P. Lovecraft again... :)

I had a lot of fun writing this story, so I'm happy that it's been published for you kids to enjoy.

Let this encourage all of you who are slogging it out on the submission marathon: just keep submitting and keep writing!

Wily Writers is a doubly cool site because you can not only read the story online, you can listen to the audiobook version read by the delightfully expressive Nathan Crowder. (Download the .mp3 and slap that file on your iPod to show everyone how cool you are...)

This story also features a few inside Illiterati jokes, such as Ryan Bridger's "Psycho-to-Hot Ratio" and a few others.

After you read it, please leave a shoutout on the Wily Writers website (or here, or both).

Read it here: http://www.wilywriters.com/blog/?p=2792

A Present For You

Ok, so I decided to get you a gift after all. (One you don't have to pay for)

Just me and my guitar and some holiday cheer...

Merry Christmas!

A Krampus Christmas

Okely dokely boys and girls. It’s Christmas time and I’m getting ready to get back into the recording studio to finish this album (there’s nothing better than a warm recording studio when it’s cold outside.) But before you think I didn’t get you anything for Christmas, let me stop you with a soft shushing sound and a frowning shake of my head.

I wouldn’t forget you, no I wouldn’t. See how thoughtful I am? How like the image of a gentleman scholar you have in your head. (Unless the words ‘gentleman scholar’ inexplicably make you think of Hannibal Lecter.)

Anyhow, now that you think I’m so magnanimous, allow me to let a little air out.

I only got you something if you own a Kindle.

And you have to pay .99 cents.

But hear me out first, you WANT to spend this .99 cents. Really, I’m doing you a favor by telling you to spend this near buck.

Here’s what I want you to do: buy the Shock Totem HolidayTales of the Macabre and Twisted 2011

Simple, right?

Why should you buy it? Two great reasons and then a bunch of other good reasons.

Reason 1: you get to read “A Krampus Christmas” by none other than Illiterati member Ryan Bridger (aka Battle Bunny)

Reason 2: you get to read “Heartless” by Illiterati member Merceded M. Yardley

That’s right, TWO members of my infamous estimable writer’s group are featured in this issue.

So what are you waiting for, an invitation? Get off your lazy duff and have an awesome book filled with holiday havoc beamed directly to your Kindle.

Do it now or the Krampus will get you...