Hanging Tough

Ok, so the tail end of 2014 kicked my creative butt.

You know how it goes: the bills roll in, the car breaks down, the kids need jail bonds, and you find that 9-5 job turns into 6-8.

But 2015 is a year to punch all that in the face. I'm looking at entering a new decade and by golly I think I'm a big boy now. Big enough to make a schedule that fits my wild and crazy creative exploits nicely alongside my worky-work money-making exploits.

(Work has been really good. My wife, looking over our bank account, asked me recently whether I had started cooking meth in the home office. "No," I said, "I just was really darn productive and got some new clients." Looking back I should have told her I'd become a professional bear wrestler.)

So, 2015. Let's do this.

To start this thing off right, we must look to an inspiring hero to really set the tone of butt-kicking to follow.

I give you: Bat-Viking.

Vegas Valley Book Fest Promo Card

Attention humans: I've heard reports that some of you are experiencing problems with the download promo cards I was slinging around at Vegas Valley Book Festival.

If so, let me know! I apologize for any inconvenience too.

I've notified my publisher, Samhain Publishing, to see if somewhere on the webstore a checkbox didn't get checked or something. That sort of stuff happens.

Stay tuned.

The mason

Illiterati in Desert Companion magazine

I totally spaced on the fun news:

Probably, oh, all of you know that I belong to a super secret writers group called The Illiterati.
We are very serious. (see pictures demonstrating our seriousness below)

We meet every week, critique each other's stories and novels, have word wars, bake cookies, act very silly serious, and make plans for world domination through synchronized finger-snapping whilst walking.

All this to say, Desert Companion, a really great arts and culture magazine, sent an intrepid journalist by the name of Scott Dickensheets to sit in on one of our weekly Illiterati critique sessions.

We had loads of fun, we critiqued each other's stories (even made Scott bring a piece so we could make him cry), we played banjo and ukuleles, and no one got hurt! All in all a successful night.

It's in the October issue of Desert Companion! (read it online here)


The Illiterati is: Ryan Bridger, Billie Bundschuh, Mason Ian Bundschuh, Matt Czarnowski, Mercedes M. Yardley

2014 - still serious after all these years

2013 - very serious

that time we were in an MMORPG together

2010 - super incredibly serious

Vegas Valley Book Festival 2014

If you like book things and live in Las Vegas, then you ought to know about the annual Vegas Valley Book Festival. http://vegasvalleybookfestival.org/

Honestly, a book festival in Las Vegas. Didn't you know? We're cultured bro.

There is free food, so writers come out of the woodwork for it. And have I mentioned there are lots of books?

This year I’ll be on the “Las Vegas Writes” panel with a few other local authors such as fellow Illiterati-member Mercedes M. Yardley, Scott Dickensheets, David Armstrong, Heidi Kyser, Joseph Langdon, Launce Rake, Moniro Ravanipour, Geoff Schumacher, and T.R. Witcher.

The panel is 11 AM on Saturday Oct 18^th (in the Auditorium)

Come by and heckle!

Here’s the deets:

Vegas Valley Book Festival

Historic 5th Street School

401 S. 4th Street, Las Vegas NV 89101

Lost and Found in Las Vegas Anthology

More publication news!

My short story Strip Away recently came out in the anthology "Lost and Found in Las Vegas: What the City Hides and What It Reveals" Edited by Scott Dickensheets, Huntington Press (August 28, 2014)

It's a Twilight Zoney twisty tale of creepiness.

Jacob has a problem. He's late for work slinging cards at one of the ritzy casinos on Las Vegas Strip. But that's not really his problem. Instead it's that no matter where he turns and no matter which exit he takes he can't seem to find Las Vegas. It's as if the whole city no longer exists on this plane.
Strip Away.

All the authors in this anthology will be having some panelist fun this year at the Vegas Valley Book Festival (more on that later) so make sure you're planning on attending.

The super fun thing about this anthology is that I share the table of contents with my Illiterati pal Mercedes M. Yardley! Fun times. The writing group that stays together gets published together.

We are very serious writers (photo credit Brent Holmes)

I Wonz teh Awkward Author Photo Contest

I can finally tell my mom that I'm a winner.

Wild and crazy novelist, screenwriter, blogger, and game designer, Chuck Wendig http://terribleminds.com/ had a very serious and thoughtful contest to solicit the most awkward author photos of all time (well, of at least those readers of his blog who were silly enough to enter).

Here's where he scientifically tallied the votes (complete with snazzy info-graphic)

And here's my winning entry:

Let that sink in.

...

...

...

And here's my reaction when I found out I'd won this prestigious award:

Hagrid learns he's been accepted to Hogwarts

good times.

Qualia Nous Released Into the Wild

Ladies and gentlefrogs, my short story “Breathe You in Me” is contained within the pages of QUALIA NOUS.

Go buy it. http://www.amazon.com/Qualia-Nous-Michael-Bailey/dp/0578146460

QUALIA NOUS is a collection of short stories billed as “a literary blend of science fiction and horror.”

I can dig it.

“Breathe You in Me”, was one of those sit-down-with-nothing-in-mind-then-all-of-a-sudden-write-in-a-fury-to-finish-it-in-one-sitting things. Those of you who are writers will have had that elusive experience. It’s a weird form of possession, or so it feels. You’re merely the channel for an idea that must strike the earth like verbose lightning.

It’s the only thing I ever wrote in 2^nd person—and only because the narrative demanded it. I managed to combine the sewer city under Las Vegas and the flesh-eating drug Krokodil and fungi.

Yes, there is a sewer city underneath Las Vegas.

As a Las Vegas writer I find that there is no end to potential material here. This place is full of some crazy stories. You just have to listen.

Anyhow, I’m honored to share the QUALIA NOUS table of contents (TOC for us fancypants types) with some amazing writers. Editor Michael Bailey has a real knack for putting together dynamic and potent anthologies—featuring seasoned veterans and up-and-coming authors you need to know about NOW.

And Stephen King’s in it. Even my mom knows who Stephen King is.

So that’s pretty cool.

I’m trying to start the rumor that ole Stevey and I have been having BBQ’s at one another’s summer homes, clinking glasses and toasting to obscure rock’n’roll bands.

My wife suggests that I’m taking the fanboy thing a little too far. The restraining order from Mr. King would tend to support this observation, except I know that only means he wants me to pursue our friendship even more ardently…

;)

 Here's the table of contents. Mucho kudos goes to those who typed and linked all this out. (if it was you, take credit!)

·                                 “The Jaunt” by Stephen King

·                                 “The Vaporization Enthalpy of a Peculiar Pakistani Family” by Usman Tanveer Malik

·                                 “The Shaking Man” by Gene O’Neill

·                                 “Dyscrasia” by Ashlee Scheuerman

·                                 “The Rondelium Girl of Rue Marseille” by Emily B. Cataneo

·                                 “The Angel Chaser” by Erik T. Johnson

·                                 “Psychic Shock” by Ian Shoebridge

·                                 “Peppermint Tea in Electronic Limbo” by D.J. Cockburn

·                                 “Second Chance” by John R. Little

·                                 “The Effigies of Tamber Square” by Jon Michael Kelley

·                                 “Shades of Naught” by Lori Michelle

·                                 “The Price of Faces” by James Chambers

·                                 “Simulacrum” by Jason V Brock

·                                 “Shutdown” & “Tomorrow’s Femme” (poetry) by Marge Simon

·                                 “Lead Me to Multiplicity” by Peter Hagelslag

·                                 “Cataldo’s Copy” by Christian A. Larsen

·                                 “The Neighborhood Has a Barbecue” by Max Booth III

·                                 “The Jenny Store” by Richard Thomas

·                                 “Night Guard” by Erinn L. Kemper

·                                 “A New Man” by William F. Nolan

·                                 “Voyeur” by John Everson

·                                 “Kilroy Wasn’t There” by Pat R. Steiner

·                                 “In the Nothing-Space, I Am What You Made Me” by Paul Anderson

·                                 “Dura Matter” by Lucy A. Snyder

·                                 “Ruminations” by Rena Mason

·                                 “Good and Faithful Servant” by Thomas F. Monteleone

·                                 “Twelve Kilos” by Patrick Freivald

·                                 “Breathe You In Me” by Mason Ian Bundschuh

·                                 “18P37-C, After Andrea Was Arrested” by Elizabeth Massie

·                                 “No Fixed Address” by Gary A. Braunbeck

Quick Update and some Reviewer Love

Hey kids, just a quick update:

I'll be at the American Library Association Conference this weekend hanging with Stan Lee, Lois Lowry, B.J. Novak and Jane McGonigal. (Not to mention my pal John Palisano, who literally rocks.)

I'm wrapping up the new novel and fielding beta reader notes.

My super secret writer's group, The Illiterati, will be heading out of country for our annual writer's retreat. If I email you requesting bail $, it's a scam. I'd just call you.

Last year my short story "When We Change" was published in the WHISPERS FROM THE ABYSS anthology (01Publishing) Not only has it gotten some great reviews (Take, for example this one from Innsmouth Free Press, and my story in particular gets some love from SFFWorld.Com) but the publishers are coming out with a print edition for Fall 2014. Huzzah. Stay tuned.

CHIRAL MAD 2, which features my story "Another Man's Bones" has been garnering a bunch of awards.

Also: my short novella / long long story PIERCING THE VEIL (Samhain Publishing) has been getting some nice reviews over on Amazon and elsewhere.

Dark Eva has this to say:

"[PIERCING THE VEIL] has a lot of depth and intriguing layers that highlight not only the author’s skill but also a story with substance."

Read the whole review here: http://thedarkeva.com/2014/05/17/book-review-piercing-the-veil-by-mason-bundschuh/

And Horror Novel reviews says:

A genuine story switch here, I have read quite a number of tales but this one most certainly traveled in an atypical direction. And I must say I am quite enthused with the unique qualities offered forth by Mason Ian Bundschuh. 

Read the whole review here: http://horrornovelreviews.com/2014/03/01/mason-ian-bundschuh-piercing-the-veil-review/

I'm tickled that nearly every reviewer loves to hate the protagonist, Simon. My nefarious plans have come to fruition.

And that's all the news I can think of at this moment.

Shock Totem Issue 8.5

Hey all you people that live on the internet:

My short non-fiction piece "Unlearning to Lie" is in Shock Totem Magazine Issue 8.5 (Amazon link)

This makes me all giddy and stuff like that. Support this amazing magazine while getting a glimpse into the dark corners of my mind.

Piercing the Veil

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I give you my brand new short novella/long long story: Piercing the Veil

"She's electric, boogie woogie, oogie..."

Get yerself over to my publisher's website to grab a copy Samhain Horror
Or if you're more traditional and like the Amazon thing, go here

What's it about?

Simon, a brilliant but narcissistic grad student, will do anything to get a position at a nearby cutting-edge particle collider. So when a bitter and discredited professor offers him the chance at a secret research position on the cusp of proving an impossible theory, Simon thinks it’s a dream come true. But the math doesn’t quite add up and the other technicians working graveyard at the collider give him the creeps.
Meanwhile, students are disappearing from his university at an alarming rate. When Simon becomes the prime suspect he realizes there may be a horrible link to the erratic and impossible research at the collider. Simon is learning that his coworkers may not entirely be human after all. And the disappearances are getting closer to home.

Throw in the sci-fi paranoia of Philip K. Dick and a healthy dose of Lovecraftian cosmic horror and you're getting close.

And check out this "first-peek" review by the people over at Horror Novel Reviews:

http://horrornovelreviews.com/2014/03/01/mason-ian-bundschuh-piercing-the-veil-review/

More Chiral Mad 2 love

Desi Writers' Lounge had insightful and good things to say about CHIRAL MAD 2, and this in particular to say about my story "Another Man's Bones" which opened up the anthology:

"...from the get-go, you are thrown headfirst into an opening story that embodies the essence of all that is to come: a spy-versus-spy style story about time-travel and the creation and destruction of the narrator’s various selves. It introduces the readers to the existential soup of time, memory, mirrors and consciousness that defines this collection."

 Awww shucks.

Now get out there and buy a copy to see for yourself. :)

Some Chiral Mad 2 Review Love

Hellnotes had this to say about my short story "Another Man's Bones" in Chiral Mad 2:

[Chiral Mad 2] opens with “Another Man’s Bones” by Mason Ian Bundschuh. The perfect piece to motivate the reader to hungrily devour the remaining 27 stories. The storyline is not only unique, but delivers the creep factor. In doing so, Bundschuh baffles and eludes, until you reach that final well-structured sentence. This essentially is a story of one man’s quest to eliminate the ultimate foe.  He is a writer this reviewer recommends you seek out beyond this anthology. What a treat, dear readers!

That is some love right there. Wow!

Rainmaker - Story up at Horror d'Oeuvres

I'm such a slacker.

My short story "Rainmaker" went up a monthish-or-so ago on Horror d'Oeuvres (a DarkFuse flash fiction site) and I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MENTION IT.

Face. Palm.

Anyhow, you needz to go to http://www.horrordoeuvres.com/rainmaker/ and get your read on.
Ok, it's a subscription-based site, but dude, it's worth it for a bi-monthly flash fiction story from some amazing authors (and me too).

Get over there and pony up.

And while you're reading that, I'll be driving off to a secret writing shindig with my writer's group, The Illiterati.

When Procrastination is Good

Procrastination hits all of us.

It doesn't matter if you're a bohemian creative-type, or a motivated power-drive type... some days you end up burning hours on facebook, youtube, wikipedia, IMDB, or just pictures of cats.

Sure you may have learned something about the Lost Roman Legion (which bunny-trailed you to Military Use of Elephants, then to Efforts to Clone the Mammoth, then to Mitochondrial DNA), but DANGIT that really important thing you really know you ought to do didn't get done.

Whether it be that book you're writing, the songs you mean to write or record, or that shell of a car moldering in your garage (that you keep telling your spouse will someday resemble a motor vehicle with tires and engine and everything!) -- if you don't do it, it doesn't get done.

Easy, right?

And every minute you're NOT doing the thing that must be done, you beat yourself up and guilt out, then drown your guilt in a bowl of apathy-ice-cream.

Or is that just me?

But sometimes we gotta take a break to do something that is worth doing. Something that recharges you, rather than something that just eats up time.

Play with the kids. Read a book. A paper one. Remember those? Go to that durn park that's been nearby the whole time you've lived here but you've never been. Built a rocket. Learn to play ukulele.

For each of us there are different things that recharge you.

For me it's playing music. Ask my wife, I pretty much have a stringed instrument in my hands at all times.

And recently I've gotten into BUILDING guitars. Or at least modding and assembling guitars from random parts, trying out custom wiring tricks, etc, etc.

Here is my baby. It's a 1990 "Partscaster" an old blues surfer guy in Hawaii made and sold to me. It was my first real guitar. But somewhere several years ago the electronics failed. Sad times.

1990 Partscaster, rebuilt 2014

But if I had made one, my new year's resolution would be "Learn to fix and build guitars." Because no guitar should sit in a closet unplayed.

Sometimes you need to put off doing the thing that requires huge amounts of brain energy and creative mojo... if only to have recharge time.

What's something you do to recharge?

Quick Guitar Mod: Upgrade Your Strat Tremolo Block

I’m going to digress on my blog and talk about a quick upgrade for any Stratocaster type-tremolo.

I play lots of guitar for work (and bass, and banjo, and mandolin, and ukulele, and whatever), but I’m also an inveterate tinkerer and modder. Usually I mod/upgrade small stuff like tuning keys and knobs or bridge/saddles, but I know how to fix the big stuff (like electronics) too.

I was in the market for a fun and kooky guitar so I bought one of those Fender Modern Player Marauders. They’re 25” scale (like a Stratocaster), have a Strat trem, and a nifty offset body. They’re also cheap and made in China so I wasn’t really sure what to expect quality-wise.

First of all: I really really really like it. It feels good, and better yet, what really makes it a formidable working-musician’s axe is that it has all three major pickup types on tap (P-90, single-coil & humbucker) 

I’ve already put a lot of gigging hours on it and the Marauder delivers the goods.

But, if you’ve ever bought a non-American-made Stratocaster, chances are if you look under the hood you'll find that the tremolo block is not your normal solid chunk of steel.

It probably looks more like the one on the left below: 

Cheap original on left, solid steel replacement (standard size) on right

This is called pinching-pennies. It is a lightweight piece of some sort of crappy alloy.

And you know what? I kind of got angry. I stamped my feet. I crossed my arms. I wasn’t going to take it any more. I was going to fight for my right to party. (er…)

Anyhow, I did a little research and bought a solid steel replacement tremolo block from Guitarfetish.com

I wasn’t sure how much of an actual difference it would make. But, hey, the solid steel block was only $25 bucks, so why not give it a shot? (They also offer solid brass)

IT MADE A DIFFERENCE.

I noticed first and foremost how SOLID the guitar felt even when playing it unplugged.

I always set up my trem bridges flush-mounted, so it wasn’t some sort of “play” in the tremolo. It just felt more solid when I played and bent notes all over creation. It was noticeably heavier, less “toy-like” in weight. It now weighs a fraction more than my American Strats (which if I’m not mistaken makes sense, the offset body being a little larger).

When I plugged it in, I perceived a sonic difference in the sustain (the notes decayed less quickly) and in a snappier response. Before I changed the tremolo block, the guitar had strings that were a few weeks old, so I won’t declare “Dude, it totally increased sustain by 50%!” But I perceived a difference… and I’m pretty darn skeptical about these sorts of things.

So, if you’ve got non-American Fender/Squire (or cheap knock-off) with a Synchro Tremolo, why not upgrade?

Before you get started, remember to take pictures of each step BEFORE you remove things so you know how the go back together. And consider numbering or tagging or otherwise separating/organizing each component you remove so you don’t end up with a pile of mystery screws afterwards.

Ok, here’s how you do it:

1) Start by removing the strings and the string saddles

for Pete’s sake find a little dish or jar or something to put all your parts and screws in!

2) Remove the tremolo back plate and the tremolo springs (careful not to make them snap out at you)

3) Unscrew the three flush-mount screws connecting the bridge plate to the tremolo block (not the six screws attaching the bridge plate to the body)

4) Slap in and secure the new tremolo block of super powers. 

5) Check that the hole for the tremolo arm lines up. Feel free to facepalm if it doesn’t, and reorder a different config.

misfit... boo.

6) Reattach the springs. (careful now, and put them back the way you found them. Or rearrange to your heart’s content. You’ll be adjusting the spring tension anyways)

7) Reinstall string saddles. (you’re going to adjust intonation later, right? RIGHT?)

Put on some new strings and tune up.

Adjust tremolo spring tension to taste (I like my tremolos flush mount with no backwards play) and reattach back plate.*

That’s it!

If you do it, report back whether you think it made a difference or not, and with any technical glitches, tricks, or advice from your experience.

*One strange glitch was that the claw of the springs where they attached to the new block were a half millimeter higher than the level of the guitar body, so the backplate couldn’t be mounted flush—and more importantly the end of the springs would rub/press against the tremolo block. (not the block itself, mind you, just the claw of the springs)

UNACCEPTABLE! So I got a file and grooved out the inside of the backplate to accommodate the height discrepancy. One could also, theoretically groove out the tremolo block so that the spring claws sat lower. But I didn’t want to bother filing steel.

The springs are sticking up! Drats!

Chiral Mad 2 Released

Ladies and Gentlefrogs, Chiral Mad 2 is out so get thee to Amazon and order yourself a copy.

Chiral Mad 2 on Amazon

My short story "Another Man's Bones" opens up the collection (a big honor for me)

I know I've mentioned it before, but the people I share the table of contents (TOC) with are AWESOME.
Some serious luminaries and all-around great people.

One aspect of this publication which may be of interest to other hungry writers out there: my story had been rejected by dozens of other markets before being accepted. I had several really positive personal rejections, but all rejections nonetheless.
I knew the story was solid. This isn't just vanity, I can tell when I write a stinker (usually after a few days of perspective). This story I knew was good. And I'd also put it through the wringer of my writer's group (The Illiterati) and it got their stamp of approval.
Point being, if you've got a story you believe in, keep submitting it! Every editor is looking for something different. Eventually you'll find a home for it.

The key word of the day is PERSISTENCE.

For us writers, with our perennial vacillation between soaring ego and crushing self-doubt, it is persistence and plain-old dogged cussedness that drags us through.

You Used Song Lyrics in Your Self-Published Book?

Some things you never want to hear. That your best friend was swallowed by a Kaiju. That your mom won the lottery, but decided to disown all of you and retire to Fiji with the pool guy. That your little brother is now a world-famous dub-step dj.

Add to that list, "My self-published book contains song lyrics."

Some of you may be asking “You mean I need permission to use song lyrics in my novel?”

(my awesome graphic design skillz)

I was speaking at a conference recently, and during one panel the topic of using brand names and trademarks in fiction was in full swing when somebody asked the above question.

The short answer is: Yes, you need permission. Song lyrics are copyrighted material. You need legal permission from the copyright holder to reprint copyrighted material--even a line or partial line of song lyrics.

The problem was that this individual had self-published their novel… and apparently there were scenes where the protagonist sang in the shower.

OMG. He illegally used real lyrics to a popular song right there in his self-pubbed opus.

He didn’t know it was illegal.

The record label doesn’t even need to win the lawsuit, they just need to sue you with deeper pockets. You’ll capitulate and then move your family down to the homeless shelter where you’ll cry over your garnished wages for eternity.

"Hmm, this scene could use a popular song lyric..."

This alone is a strong case for having an editor. A real editor (hint: not your mom) would have caught this. Just like they would catch you using a brand name, and tell you to genericize it.

Ladies and gentlemen, don’t reprint song lyrics in your novel. Not unless 1) you wrote the darn song and have every legal authority to use it, or 2) you’ve gone through all the legal hoopla to reprint the excerpt by permission of the copyright holder.

Acceptance and Contest Win: Dark Fuse & Vegas Valley Book Fest 2013

Well, it's been a productive past few months.

While I've been neck deep in the heavy rewrites and revisions of my current WIP (work in progress for all you not yet in the know), I've also been throwing my proverbial hat into the ring by submitting short stories all over the place.

1) My short story "The Resurrectionist" won 2nd place in the 2013 Vegas Valley Book Festival Flash Fiction contest. (I'll be reading my winning entry at the VVBF on Saturday Nov 2nd at noon in the small courtyard of the old 5th street schoolhouse in downtown Las Vegas)

2) My short story "Rainmaker" was just picked up by Dark Fuse for their Horror d'oeuvres flash fiction outlet. Fun stuff. Rainmaker was my entry in the Killercon 2013 Creative Fiction contest, judged by the peerless Ellen Datlow and Christopher Rice (a rising star to watch).

Both stories were written on the same day (within a few hours of one another) in two timed contests. The first contest allowed 90 minutes to write, edit and submit, the second only 20 minutes.

Most of you know that I have a super-duper writers group. The Illiterati.

Watch out, better hide your kids, hide your wife.

One of the best things about having a group in this solitary life of a writer is that you roll together. Any triumph for one is a triumph for all. Life is better when you travel as a pack.

In September the Illiterati as a group entered two short story contests in a row: The Killercon 2013 Creative Fiction contest and the 2013 Vegas Valley Book Festival Flash Fiction contest.

We won both.
(Congrats to Matt Czarnowski for his Illiterati-representing Killercon win!)

I credit as much to our own (growing) writing ability as I do to the sense of friendly competition of "outwriting" one another. I admire and enjoy the unique writing voice and style of each member of my group, and to go head-to-head with them is both an honor and a real challenge.

What are you waiting for? Find some like-minded writers and start yourself a writers group. You won't know what you're doing at first, but you'll learn.

Whispers From the Abyss Anthology

Hey dude, you've got something on your face...

Hey there kiddos, you can read my latest short story "When We Change" in the WHISPERS FROM THE ABYSS anthology.

This is the story that Jack Ketchum deemed awesome enough to be declared winner of the 2012 Killercon flash fiction contest.

Snatch it up on Amazon!

Check out the table of contents here.

Ukulele Madness

Others have done great Killercon 2013 debriefs (such as John Palisano), so I won't rehash any of that.

Instead I'll tell you that Mercedes and I brought our ukuleles to the convention.

Now, just so's you know, my ukulele super-powers are well documented. (example 1: World Horror Con with Mort Castle, example 2: audio/video proof ) But on with my blog...

Ukuleles bring joy wherever they go.
Joy. And astonishment.

Christopher Rice totally amazed by our AC/DC rendition

And sometimes violence.

Michael Bailey and Mercedes M. Yardley remembering The Clash

But the important thing is that ukuleles bring people together.

Passing the ukes around with John Skipp

One thousand million pounds of love go out to my pals who shared and shredded the humble four strings of fury (meaning, my ukulele)

Michael Bailey, Matt Czarnowski, John Skipp, John Palisano, Sarah Peed, Mike McCarty, Stacy Scranton-Morgan, Edmund Colell, and the half dozen I probably also forgot... (oops)

So everyone should go buy themselves an ukulele. I'll wait right here while you do.

And a few of you will be able to view this video of me playing "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails on the ukulele.
(That's John Palisano on wall drums and Mercedes M. Yardley on chocolate chip shaker)